Dreams

Many people have told stories about waking up from a nightmare with a sigh of relief that it was not real. Did you ever wake up from one thinking: “Oh no, I have to go back to sleep and try to finish that!” ???

I did, one morning this week. In that dream, I was trying to sort out some accounts, and knew that unless I got all the figures right, neither I nor anyone else was going to get home. I’m not sure exactly where I was, I only know it had been my first day on the job, and I wasn’t even employed, just doing some kind of internship, but they still laid this huge responsibility on me. And every time I was on the verge of getting it right, something happened to interrupt me, and I had to start over…

So my very first thought when waking up was that I had to return to the dream and straighten things out, or those “other people”, whoever they were, would still be in trouble...

Readers who have been following me for a while know that I’m fascinated by dreams and dream interpretation. (You will find earlier posts on the theme if you click the label “dreams”.) So later in the day, while out walking, I kept thinking about this.

First of all, I never really felt comfortable with figures and math. This week I’ve had to check income tax return forms for myself, for my father, and for my mother’s estate (almost a year after her death), so I guess that pretty much “accounts for the accounts” - and the feeling of being responsible for getting things sorted out not only for myself but for others as well.

But then there is this other dimension... 
The fact of still not being ‘done’ sorting out the affairs of someone who left this life a year ago. A visit from a friend the other day, who just recently lost another friend of hers to cancer. Talk of funerals. Thinking of other friends – some who died, some who survived. Having to tell people about my own recent troubles. Still waiting for the results of my biopsy last week. (That in itself a strange mix of trying to forget, be positive, and prepare for new trials all at the same time.)

And in nature, outside, things slowly coming back to life after the long sleep of winter…

I had another dream earlier in the week.
In that dream, I was invited to a wedding, or rather a renewal of vows for a couple married since many years back. It was a huge event, and I had the feeling almost everyone I’ve known in my whole life was at that party. The couple inviting us was a married couple whom in real life I haven’t seen for years, but who do “connect” a lot of my other friends, because they are known to people where I live now as well as also to friends back where I lived before. They are also an international couple: one of them comes from Sweden, the other from an English-speaking country across the earth.

 

The celebration they had invited us to was a much bigger event than any I’ve ever been to. It was not all festivities; it also involved really tough challenges, like mysteries and riddles to be worked out, and finding hidden ways and keys to get out of seemingly impossible situations. For the scenery, imagine a mix of the Colosseum and some of the more impressive scenery from The Lord of the Ring…

The whole adventure began with wonder,  continued with struggles, and ended in celebration.

       

From that dream I woke up with a sense of “wow” rather than anything else. I can’t recall ever having had a dream quite like it before.

To get back to the more recent “accounts” dream. As I said, my first feeling when I woke up from that one was that I had to go back to sleep to finish what I had left behind. But then as I grew more aware of things, it dawned on me that I was home, and awake, and that I did not have to go back and finish those impossible accounts. (Phew!)

Thinking about this later, during my walk, a parallel to the message of Christian faith (as it has been written into my heart) struck me. No matter how many years we live, none of us will really be able to “finish all the accounts”. Every one of us will be leaving some unfinished business behind one day, however much we strive not to. (And of course we should strive not to.) But when we wake up on that final morning, we shall realize that we are at home, and that we will not have to go back to sort things out. It has all been taken care of.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelations 21:1-4)