Updates

1. Update on the hospital visit in the morning with my dad:
Worrying beforehand did help. It all went much better today than last time. (See yesterday's post about Hope and Worry.) We are still not much wiser, though. The specialist will have to do some digging into the past, trying to collect medical records from other places, before he can determine whether new medication might possibly be of any help. For me, however, it was a huge weight off my shoulders that this time an assistant from home care was also with us through the whole visit.

2. Does this experience also really mean that I feel I have to update my theology? In case someone actually feels unsure about it: No. I never seriously thought that when Jesus said "Do not worry about tomorrow" he meant: Never think in advance. The whole context in Matthew 6 has to do with a much bigger picture, what things we find most important in life. (To increase our bank account, or our compassion.)
                                                   

3. Update on the computer situation:
In the late afternoon, I tried a couple of more internet tips on the dead computer, but without success. I'm not going to make any more desperate attempts, that might only lessen the chances of retrieving  lost data from the crashed hard drive by help of other means. My brother will probably be able to help me with that later on.

So I have accepted the fact that I will have to buy a new computer. It has been on my mind for a while anyway. Just hoping the laptop will continue to keep its spirit up in the meantime, until I decide on the best alternative for the future.

Today I have been able to safely transfer all my original 2009 photos, and also some edited ones, from my backup USB flash drive onto the laptop. Phew!


It's not the End of the World.

Hope And Worry

Early in October, I had three blogposts entitled The Worries of Tomorrow, The Troubles of Today, and Another Day; preceded by a Quotation (41/09) from the Bible about worrying; or rather about NOT to worry about tomorrow, "for tomorrow will worry about itself". You'll find the posts in the Blog Archive for October.

The gist of it all (in those blogposts) was that I found that a bit more worrying "yesterday" would for once have been in place, before accompanying my dad on a visit to the hospital, which turned out just energy-consuming, irritating, exhausting, unproductive and a general waste of time for everyone involved, because of lack of proper planning, and too much optimism.

Now it's time for a new attempt. I can only hope I have worried enough in advance this time! The blood samples got taken last time (should have been taken a week before that, and could have been done elsewhere, but weren't). Tomorrow, home care staff will be accompanying dad all the way to take care of all the practical assistance he needs. (Which I can't provide because of my own chronic pain problems. Which last time's experiences proved.) A little while ago I phoned the home care organizer and checked that we still agree on this and that proper preparations have been made by them this time. I will meet up to sit in on the actual talk with the doctor; that's all. (Which will probably be more than enough for me for one day.)

Until that is over and done with, I will try and resist my inner urges to waste more energy on attempts to resuscitate my dead computer (see yesterday's post). It is unlikely to get any deader than it already is by waiting a bit. 

Another Day

I'm still really tired after the adventures of the day before yesterday (see The Troubles of Today 6 Oct) - and this whole tomorrow-today-yesterday thing is getting really confusing now! I will have to think of some other kind of heading soon...

I was made aware by comments from concerned friends on the last two posts, that it might perhaps be a good idea to repeat the facts that I myself suffer from chronic pain in neck-shoulder-arm, and that my dad has problems walking (among other things - it is a neurological problem). It was too far for him to walk within the hospital, and I can't push a wheelchair, and these facts combined caused A LOT of problems - which I really should have foreseen more clearly than I did (and protested more loudly than I did about the arrangements, or lack of, in this case). I probably would have, if I had had a bit more time to think than just finding out about the appointment half a day in advance... Hence I also had not seen the letter which said quite clearly that blood samples should be taken a week before the doctor's appointment. Home care staff missed that line, which made the whole extremely tiresome day quite meaningless, because without the test results the doctor of course could say nothing. This is what I had in mind in the last post when I argued that "worrying" a bit more beforehand, in this particular case, might actually have helped...

Yesterday, I tried to call home care to discuss how to avoid this kind of thing next time, but of course the Right Someone was on holiday for the rest of the week. (Aren't they always...) I did talk to Someone Else, but had better try again next week to get hold of Ms. More-Directly-In-Charge to make sure. So it's still hanging over me.

Today I was still feeling strangely extraordinarily stressed... It kept getting worse until in the late afternoon it dawned on me that I had forgotten to take my blood pressure pills in the morning.  (The fact that I forgot to take them still indicates stress...)

This was another depressing post to write and probably to read. I don't want to write stuff like this. I want to write fun-to-read stuff. I hope I'll be able to get back to that soon. Thanks for listening.

The Troubles of Today

(Readers are advised to read yesterday's posts before this one.)

Sorry, Jesus! For once (-?-) I have to argue with you: I actually think a bit more worry yesterday might have saved at least about a dozen people a lot of trouble today. I  would not even be surprised if today shortened my own or someone else's life by a few hours, but that will of course be hard to prove...

I'm lying in bed now, at four in the afternoon, and don't have enough writing energy to go into details. But to sum up: All that came out of today was that some blood samples got taken that should have been taken a week before, which  could have been done locally without going to the hospital in town. Since it was not, all the rest of today's hospital visit was a total waste of time and energy for me, dad, busy specialist doctor, several nurses, receptionists, drivers and others...

Well. One more lesson learned: Next time, home care staff will have to accompany dad to the hospital, even if I sit in on the actual talk with the doctor. What was I thinking?! What was anyone thinking?! "Good will" is not enough to get through a day like today. My dad needs a lot more physical assistance than I can provide; and don't think that just because you're in a hospital, there is always staff at hand... If I knew who to yell at, I'd yell. Loud. However, I don't really know who to blame... Lots of individuals today went out of their way to be helpful; the fault is not with any of them. Tomorrow, I'll try to phone Someone In Charge and talk calmly about how to avoid the whole thing from being repeated...

Thanks to all who responded to my worries from yesterday and who have been thinking and praying. Keep it up, please. I'll need it.

The Worries of Tomorrow

In spite of the quotation I just posted - "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself" - my thoughts will not quite let go. Home care staff phoned at noon and assumed I knew my dad has a hospital appointment tomorrow. I did not. I also don't know how long they have known; or how long dad himself has known. Anyway, now I can no longer claim ignorance, and will have to accompany him. That is, they are going to put him in a taxi and expect me to be there when he arrives and take it from there. Dad himself has no idea what kind of specialist it is that he is going to see or why (I talked to dad after I talked to the staff). I have some idea, but am confused, since I thought this was something that had already been dealt with and decided not to proceed with. I'm trying very hard just now to postpone the worries until tomorrow. Actually not so much worries about what the specialist might have to say - that I can postpone until I know. What my mind is circling around is the details of how to get dad and myself through the practical procedures and the maze of hospital corridors tomorrow. I might be able to be of some intellectual support, but when it comes to physical support, don't try to lean on me...! Waiting is not what I'm best at, either - in a physically upright position.

Aches, Pains and Worries

"Aches, Pains and Worries"... When I created my blog in January, it was really as a kind of escape from these three words. But this last week they caught up with me again.



Since it seems my blog has somehow managed to gather a handful of followers over the past few months, it is perhaps time I at least mention that the APW:s are there. The Aches and Pains are concentrated to my neck, shoulder and arm; and they very much limit my ability to do things I like to do (including reading, writing and blogging), as well as all the things I don't particulary enjoy but that one has to do anyway... (It was a seemingly minor accident at work that started it, and I've now been in early retirement with disability insurance pension for five years.)

Right now, there are additonal Worries connected to suddenly having to take on sort of parental duties towards my own ageing parents. The W:s increase the A:s and P:s, and then in turn the A:s and P:s increase the W:s, and it quickly becomes a vicious circle... If I'm not able to spend as much time in the blog-world over the next few weeks as I have been doing lately, this is why.