Couldn't find any writing inspiration today, so I just ended up fiddling about with the margin layout. Decided to only list books I've actually commented on or at least quoted from in the blog.
Writing this down, it strikes me that just fiddling about in the margin is kind of typical of my whole life right now. I get stuck on details instead of getting round to dealing with more important stuff. It's probably part of the grieving process; and also, I think, rather typical behaviour when you feel generally exhausted or just don't know how to deal with something: Grab hold of something smaller and more manageble instead, to get back some kind of feeling of control...!
2 comments:
I think you're exactly right. Thank goodness for margins. The good part about them is they also end up being a roadmap back to the big stuff.
Even though on one level I think I'm past my grief for my brother, I'm still very much in the place you describe. In my case, I'm spending a lot of time playing computer games... saving cyber worlds and such. Your grief is still very fresh and you are dealing with the active grief of watching your father age and getting care for him. It's a difficult process. The latter, in some ways, may be the more difficult. My mother was sick for more than 15 years and neither alive nor dead for the last 3 or 4 so I lived in a kind of perpetual grief mixed with the both the anticipation and dread of the final grief. Not easy. My heart goes out to you. I hope you will be kind to yourself.
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