P.S. I Love You

Lately I haven't been watching a lot of films. I happened to pick up this one yesterday when I had to go to the supermarket to buy some food necessities. I had never heard of it before but it seemed it might be just the thing for a grey autumn Sunday afternoon. It was. It goes straight to my favourites list, because it was bittersweet and humouristic at the same time, with that odd twist that makes it not-just-any-old-romantic-comedy. It is about a 30 year old woman, married since 10 years, and then her husband dies of some illness. After his death, she starts receiving letters from him. He wrote them before his death, and they are delivered one by one, with the purpose of helping her get through grief and find herself and her life again. Every letter has that PS to it - I love you. It sounds a bit weird, and it is, but at the same time it had a strong ring of reality to it. It is about remembering, about picking up the scattered pieces of a broken life, and about embracing and letting go at the same time. It is beautiful and joyful and sad, and I loved it. The acting is superb, the music wonderful, and the film is set partly in New York and partly in Ireland.

Elk-hunt

Today is the start of the yearly elk-hunt in Sweden. I do not take part! No one in my family that I know of ever did... I did twice in my teens try rifle-shooting on games days in senior high school. That was because it involved less running around than the other alternatives... It did however involve lying down on muddy ground. Whether I ever managed to hit the target board, I cannot remember. Anyway - I much prefer shooting with the camera. And an occasional walk around the zoo is really enough wildlife adventure for me.

Quotation of the Week (42/09) - Friends

"Always be kind to your friends, because without them you would be a stranger."
-Source unknown-

In my previous flat, I had a big noticeboard in my hall, full of photographs of friends and family, postcards and newspaper cuttings. I found no good place for it when I moved to my present home (last summer). Looking through the photos, it also struck me that many of them represented the past rather than the present. (Years fly by... Little toddlers grow up to be teenagers and young adults. And then for some reason the parents stop sending me family pictures at Christmas!) So I made some different arrangements where I live now. I put the old photographs in an album, and put some newer ones up in a different way. Anyway... Among the old yellowed newspaper cuttings was one with the quotation above. (In Swedish, so the above is a translation.) It's still in my mind even though it's not on my wall.

Mere Christianity

I think few readers of this blog will have missed the fact that I'm a C.S. Lewis fan. (Hello! My blog title and my blog name are both his inventions!) In case you did miss it - now you know, because I'm telling you.

I don't think I actually read even the Narnia books until I was in my late 20s; but then I read almost every one of his books, theology as well as fiction, and a few biographies about his life as well. In my third term of college English literature studies, I wrote my essay on the concept of good and evil in the Narnia series. I think I can safely say that no other writer has had as big an impact on my overall understanding of Christianity as C.S. Lewis. Books by and about him (most of them in English small print pocket editions) occupy approximately 50 cm of my shelfspace. (He shares a shelf with Tolkien and J.K Rowling.)

I have kept returning to his fiction frequently; however, it has been a while since I properly reread any of the theology books. Some weeks ago I took out Mere Christianity to look something up. I got caught. The book has stayed on the shelf next to my bed since, and I'm reading it slowly. I'm rather fond of the picture on the cover of my 1979 pocket edition, so I scanned it for you:

The following quotation has been lingering in my mind this week. It's begging me to share it. Lucky me - when I googled, I found the whole book availabe as e-text. I can copy, don't have to type! It also means that if you urgently want to read more of the surrounding context, you don't have to go find the book...

The contents of this book were first given as radio talks. Lewis kept that style in the printed version. If he had lived today, I think he'd have been a great blogger!

'A "talk" on the radio should, I think, be as like real talk as possible, and should not sound like an essay being read aloud. In my talks I had therefore used all the contractions and colloquialisms I ordinarily use in conversation.' (Quote from the Preface)

From C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, Book 2, Chapter 2:

Very well then, atheism is too simple. And I will tell you another view that is also too simple. It is the view I call Christianity-and-water, the view which simply says there is a good God in Heaven and everything is all right - leaving out all the difficult and terrible doctrines about sin and hell and the devil, and the redemption. Both these are boys' philosophies.


It is no good asking for a simple religion. After all, real things are not simple. They look simple, but they are not. The table I am sitting at looks simple: but ask a scientist to tell you what it is really made of - all about the atoms and how the light waves rebound from them and hit my eye and what they do to the optic nerve and what it does to my brain-and, of course, you find that what we call "seeing a table" lands you in mysteries and complications which you can hardly get to the end of. A child saying a child's prayer looks simple. And if you are content to stop there, well and good. But if you are not - and the modern world usually is not - if you want to go on and ask what is really happening - then you must be prepared for something difficult. If we ask for something more than simplicity, it is silly then to complain that the something more is not simple.


Very often, however, this silly procedure is adopted by people who are not silly, but who, consciously or unconsciously, want to destroy Christianity. Such people put up a version of Christianity suitable for a child of six and make that the object of their attack. When you try to explain the Christian doctrine as it is really held by an instructed adult, they then complain that you are making their heads turn round and that it is all too complicated and that if there really were a God they are sure He would have made "religion" simple, because simplicity is so beautiful, etc. You must be on your guard against these people for they will change their ground every minute and only waste your tune. Notice, too, their idea of God "making religion simple": as if "religion" were something God invented, and not His statement to us of certain quite unalterable facts about His own nature.


Besides being complicated, reality, in my experience, is usually odd. It is not neat, not obvious, not what you expect. ---

Reality, in fact, is usually something you could not have guessed. That is one of the reasons I believe Christianity.

Some Groundhog Blogthoughts

Some thoughts on bloglife inspired by posts and comments during the past week...

In theory, I don't really expect anyone to actually keep up with every word I write. (I've said that a couple of times before.) That would be totally ureasonable, because I don't have the time or energy myself to always read every post in every blog I follow either. (And even less comment on.)

And still, when writing, one sort of assumes that readers have read - and what's more, also still remember the contents of! - previous posts... Because honestly - and I think most of you will agree with me - otherwise one would never get on with anything... One would be stuck in a kind of Groundhog Day (the movie with Bill Murray), just repeating the same things over and over. (In the long run, not much fun for anybody!)

The thing is, after a while, one knows there are certain readers who usually do miraculously manage to keep up pretty well. One gets comfortable, and forgets that not everybody was there from start; and that those who weren't might need to be filled in sometimes about certain facts briefly mentioned in the past.

Thinking about it now, this week has been a sort of Groundhog Day (or week) for me. A lot of going round in circles and repeating, although trying to learn from my mistakes at the same time. (That is what they do in that movie. If you've missed it, it's worth seeing. More than once.)

In the meantime, I realize yet again that I've come across some really amazing people here in the Blogworld. When I started this blog ten months ago I was kind of writing into empty space. I no longer feel like that. Thank you.

Another Day

I'm still really tired after the adventures of the day before yesterday (see The Troubles of Today 6 Oct) - and this whole tomorrow-today-yesterday thing is getting really confusing now! I will have to think of some other kind of heading soon...

I was made aware by comments from concerned friends on the last two posts, that it might perhaps be a good idea to repeat the facts that I myself suffer from chronic pain in neck-shoulder-arm, and that my dad has problems walking (among other things - it is a neurological problem). It was too far for him to walk within the hospital, and I can't push a wheelchair, and these facts combined caused A LOT of problems - which I really should have foreseen more clearly than I did (and protested more loudly than I did about the arrangements, or lack of, in this case). I probably would have, if I had had a bit more time to think than just finding out about the appointment half a day in advance... Hence I also had not seen the letter which said quite clearly that blood samples should be taken a week before the doctor's appointment. Home care staff missed that line, which made the whole extremely tiresome day quite meaningless, because without the test results the doctor of course could say nothing. This is what I had in mind in the last post when I argued that "worrying" a bit more beforehand, in this particular case, might actually have helped...

Yesterday, I tried to call home care to discuss how to avoid this kind of thing next time, but of course the Right Someone was on holiday for the rest of the week. (Aren't they always...) I did talk to Someone Else, but had better try again next week to get hold of Ms. More-Directly-In-Charge to make sure. So it's still hanging over me.

Today I was still feeling strangely extraordinarily stressed... It kept getting worse until in the late afternoon it dawned on me that I had forgotten to take my blood pressure pills in the morning.  (The fact that I forgot to take them still indicates stress...)

This was another depressing post to write and probably to read. I don't want to write stuff like this. I want to write fun-to-read stuff. I hope I'll be able to get back to that soon. Thanks for listening.

The Troubles of Today

(Readers are advised to read yesterday's posts before this one.)

Sorry, Jesus! For once (-?-) I have to argue with you: I actually think a bit more worry yesterday might have saved at least about a dozen people a lot of trouble today. I  would not even be surprised if today shortened my own or someone else's life by a few hours, but that will of course be hard to prove...

I'm lying in bed now, at four in the afternoon, and don't have enough writing energy to go into details. But to sum up: All that came out of today was that some blood samples got taken that should have been taken a week before, which  could have been done locally without going to the hospital in town. Since it was not, all the rest of today's hospital visit was a total waste of time and energy for me, dad, busy specialist doctor, several nurses, receptionists, drivers and others...

Well. One more lesson learned: Next time, home care staff will have to accompany dad to the hospital, even if I sit in on the actual talk with the doctor. What was I thinking?! What was anyone thinking?! "Good will" is not enough to get through a day like today. My dad needs a lot more physical assistance than I can provide; and don't think that just because you're in a hospital, there is always staff at hand... If I knew who to yell at, I'd yell. Loud. However, I don't really know who to blame... Lots of individuals today went out of their way to be helpful; the fault is not with any of them. Tomorrow, I'll try to phone Someone In Charge and talk calmly about how to avoid the whole thing from being repeated...

Thanks to all who responded to my worries from yesterday and who have been thinking and praying. Keep it up, please. I'll need it.