Midsummer's Eve

Midsummer Dance by Anders Zorn, 1897

In Sweden, Midsummer's Eve was formerly celebrated on June 23th, but since the 1950's on the Friday between June 19th and June 25th (and Midsummer's Day on the Saturday). It is probably the most uniquely Swedish of all our holidays. The main celebrations take place on the Friday, and traditionally include raising and dancing around a huge maypole (majstång), nowadays usually called midsummerpole (midsommarstång), decorated with leaves and flowers. The connection to fertility is naturally linked to the time of year.

Folk music is played and some people (especially folk musicians and dancers) wear traditional costumes. The menu usually includes pickled herring (which I never much liked, though), the first potatoes of the season, and the first strawberries. Many people also drink a lot of alcohol; but alcohol was never part of my own family traditions. Actually, come to think of it, neither was the maypole nor the dancing...! In my teens and later, though, I sometimes took part in bigger midsummer festivities, maypole dancing included. I especially remember the first midsummer I was allowed to spend with friends, and stay out all night. (I must have been 18 because I had got my driver's license; so I suppose no one could forbid me, really...) At that age especially, one is supposed to stay up all night (it's the shortest night of the year) and watch the sun rise early in the morning. It was exciting mainly because it was the first time. It was also cold and damp and a lot of mosquitoes...

Traditionally, Midsummer was thought to be one of the times of the year when magic was strong, so it was considered a good night to perform rituals to look into the future. For example, to pick a bouquet of seven or nine different flowers and put them under your pillow and then in your dream you would see your future spouse.

This year, I'm quite satisfied "celebrating" by just having a quiet day to myself, after the past very intense weeks. It's been raining most of the day anyway. I had chicken instead of herring (which, as I said above, I never liked), but I did have strawberries and icecream.

The neighbourhood is very quiet, I suppose most of the neighbours have gone away to celebrate.

At this age, I have no desire whatsoever to stay up all night; on the contrary, I very much hope I'll be able to go to sleep at my usual bedtime, and not wake up until well past the sunrise... ;-)

Listen To A Book

I listen to a lot of audio books. I'm not sure whether their popularity is equal in all countries, but in Sweden more and more people seem to enjoy them, and they are also popular at the libraries. Back in the 90's, I used to listen while I did something else, for example in the kitchen. Later, when I got problems with my neck and had to spend a lot of time just lying flat on my back, the alternative to listen to books, without having to hold them and turn the pages, became even more valuable to me, and it still is.

I love a good "bedtime story", and audio books have taken me through many a night when I have had trouble sleeping because of pain problems. If I fall asleep while listening, that's just good. And if I can't sleep, at least I get something else than my own problems to think about! I listen to CD's or tapes, or MP3 with a timer, so that they turn themselves off after 30-60 minutes. At night, I usually prefer to listen to a good book I already know, so that I don't have to concentrate too hard. With audio books, it is not only the content of the book that is important, though, but also that you like the voice.

Those of you who sometimes read my margin or my weekly quotations won't be surprised that some of my bedtime favourites are children's books like Winnie-the-Pooh, the Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter. Other books/tapes that I have listened to more times than I've ever bothered to count are Three Men in a Boat by J.K. Jerome, and some stories by P.G. Wodehouse. (I do have a strong preference for British English...) Recently, I've been re-listening to some Swedish classics by authors like August Strindberg and Hjalmar Bergman (late 19th - early 20th c) which I have on tape.

Quite recently, I found this website: Free Classic Audio Books, where you can download some free classics as either MP3 or MB4 for iPod. Good place to start if you can't afford to buy, or just want to try out what it feels like to listen to a book, if you're not already used to this way of reading. Enjoy! :)

Quotation of the Week 25/09

Times are hard. It's a hard time,
but everybody knows all about hard times.
The thing is, what are you gonna do?
Well, you cry and try to muscle through.
Try to rearrange your stuff.
But when the wounds are deep enough,
and it's all that we can bear,
we wrap ourselves in prayer.

Paul Simon, Wartime Prayers
(Album: Surprise, 2006)

Preserve Your Memories

"Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you..."

(Paul Simon; cf. this post of mine from 17 April)

The sun did not shine, but neither did we have to huddle under umbrellas, on the day of my mother's funeral. It rained in the morning, and it rained the next day; but not right before, during or just after the funeral.

We managed to get the very last time availabe before the church closed for a renovation this summer. (I did not even know until the day of the funeral that if we had chosen a later date, we would not have been able to use that church! It is a beautiful church and I don't really know what they need to renovate.) The surrounding landscape is at its best this time of the year, all fresh and green. Since my mum always loved being out in the woods and in the garden, we kept to hymns and songs connecting to that theme throughout. None of us had met the vicar until he came to my dad's house a week before the funeral and talked to me and my dad. But he turned out to be a good listener, and able to pick up just the right things and express them well at the funeral.

Mum and Dad did not have all that many close relatives and friends, and many of them have their own health problems; but nearly everybody whom we really wished to be there was able to come (around 25 people altogether). Dad himself has a neurological impairment which affects both his ability to walk and his memory and concentration now, and we were worried how he would get through the day; but he "did well", on the whole. Instead of walking in the procession between the church and the grave, he agreed to be taken round in the car by my brother, while my aunt and I walked behind the coffin, with the other guests following.

After the last farewell at the grave, we all went by car to the church hall, where a cold buffet was served. Dad refrained from trying to make any speech himself; but my brother made a very good one, and so did one of my dad's cousins and also a representative of the local historical society in which my parents have been active members over the past 17 years. I also said a few words but chose to express myself mostly in a sort of memorial scrapbook/ photo collage which was displayed on a separate table in the church hall. All in all, I feel that we managed to keep the focus on grateful memories.

This is a picture of my mum from a few years back,

(in December) overlooking a lake near where

they live, from the top of a bird watch tower.

And this is a picture of my parents, sitting on a park bench
overlooking another lake; this one was sent to me
by a friend of theirs after the funeral.
This photo, too, reminds me of the Bookends/Old Friends
lyrics by Paul Simon, from which I borrowed the title of this post.

Brief Update

Over the last two weeks, between making arrangements for my mother's funeral, and organizing more home care for my father, and talking on the phone to relatives etc, I have had very little time or energy left for "myself". I also find it difficult in the midst of a situation like this to transfer my thoughts spontaneously into the English language, because everything that is happening is so tied up to (Swedish) cultural traditions and social context. I hope that maybe in a week or so I'll be able to begin to "catch up with myself" a bit…? (The funeral is tomorrow.)

Quotation of the Week (24/09)

To meditate, to seek the will of God, is not to know securely what this will is. Far from it! It is to grope for it in the darkness, to often be mistaken, sometimes even to remain for long periods with no response to our pressing questions. It is to run a risk, but it is to persevere obstinately, despite all difficulties, for it is more important to seek than to find.

Paul Tournier, Fatigue in Modern Society
(link to Wikipedia article)

Quotation of the Week (23/09)

To one as young as you, I'm sure it seems incredible, but --- it really is like going to bed after a very, very long day. After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(Dumbledore to Harry)

I'm very touched by all the comments I received on my post "Life Is Fragile" last week. Since then, the little energy I have has been split between funeral arrangements for my mother (the funeral will be next Thursday) and organizing a "new life" for my father, who is also not well.